The liberal freak out [1] over Barack Obama's poor debate performance continued on Thursday morning. Left-wing comic Jon Stewart appeared on Good Morning America
to lament the President's "very difficult night" and jokingly warn,
"I'm concerned that he may not reelect us. He may walk away."
The comic even admitted Obama might not be as smart as he first imagined. Stewart
mocked, "You know, I used to think the pauses, he was just trying to
think of smaller words for the little brains to figure out what he was
saying. This time, I really think the pauses were just, 'I like
food.'...'My children are nice.'" [MP3 audio here [2].]
Stewart derided Obama, suggesting to GMA's Lara Spencer the President must, now, know that "preseason's over."
Speaking
for the incumbent, Stewart imagined, "I should probably familiarize
myself with my presidency and learn some of the various numbers and
things that go along with it."
At one point, Stewart just admitted, "I thought [Obama] had a very difficult night."
A partial transcript of the October 4 segment, which aired at 7:42am, is below:
7:42 a.m. EDT
LARA SPENCER: The presidential candidates not the only ones duking it out this week. The Daily Show's Jon Stewart and Fox News’s Bill O'Reilly, gearing up for a showdown, a rumble of sorts. A pay-per-view debate streaming online this Saturday, half of all proceeds go to charity. It's called the Rumble in the Air Conditioned Auditorium. And we’re so happy to have the one and only Jon Stewart here with us this morning.
JON STEWART: Thank you. Very happy to be here. Very excited.
SPENCER: And what a great day to have you. I want to find out right away from you, what did you think of the debate last night?
STEWART: Here's what I thought Lara and I say this in all respect. As Americans, I think we can all be very satisfied in knowing that no matter what happens in this election, we're going to have an incredibly good-looking president. That was some beefcake up there last night. The two of them and when they take this thing into the swimsuit competition. I think it’s going to get– I mean there's not a country in the world, talk about American exceptionalism -- put those two up against what? Merkel? Come on. It's a slam-dunk.
SPENCER: Absolutely. Not only are they good-looking, but they're pretty smart.
STEWART: They're very smart. Listen, I'm sure president Obama now realizes, preseason's over.
SPENCER: It’s time to –
STEWART: "I should probably familiarize myself with my presidency and learn some of the various numbers and things that go along with it." Yeah. He had -- I thought he had a very difficult night. I'm concerned that he may not reelect us. He may walk away.
SPENCER: Was that your take away on his body language? That he had other things to do?
STEWART: It wasn't so much his the body language as the mouth language that he was using. The pauses in between. You know, I used to think the pauses, he was just trying to think of smaller words for the little brains to figure out what he was saying. This time, I really think the pauses were just, 'I like food.' You know, I think he was just thinking, 'my children are nice.' It didn't seem present in the same way.
SPENCER: Right. All right. So what's the takeaway for you, as we gear up for the Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium? Any pointers from last night?
STEWART: I'm going to use the same strategy that Obama took. It's the rope-a-dope. But instead of letting your opponent punch himself out, you just get beat up.
SPENCER: Right. It's a great strategy.
STEWART: That’s right. I just have to say. Listen, O'Reilly is 6'5, 250. It's like debating a yeti. You know? I just need to stay away from one of his paws. If he gets a paw on me, I'm done.
SPENCER: It's over.
STEWART: Yeah. I don't have that. So, I've got to do -- I train "rocky" style right now. I spend my time..
SPENCER: You're small, though. You're quick. You can– you know.
STEWART: You had to get that in there. You had to get it in there? Small.
SPENCER: Compact.
STEWART: Yeah. A lot of people would say, good, you know, good gravity. Good balance. That kind of thing. But small is also, I guess, an adjective you could use.
SPENCER: It’s just one.
STEWART: Yeah, sure.
SPENCER: Listen, you called him a yeti. And he’s not here to defend himself.
STEWART: Listen, people on T.V. don't realize, people are small. You know, you watch these things. Regis Philbin, and people don't know this. 11 inches tall. People don’t realize the angles that people do. I'm a man. I'm a full-grown -- when I walk down the street, people don't go, oh, my god. How does that guy get juice? Like it’s not– But it will be I'm going at him. When I'm done with O'Reilly, he'll convert to Judaism. Like this guy's going down. This guy’s going down.
SPENCER: And this all started– this was his idea?
STEWART: This was his idea. I got a call from him one day. Just the phone -- my phone wasn't even plugged in. It just rings. That guy's magic. Stewart, O'Reilly, debate. I was like okay, just send the details.
SPENCER: Not a lot of choice in the matter.
STEWART: Listen, I'm a small, quick man.
SPENCER: He's on your show tonight.
STEWART: He's on tonight.
SPENCER: To promote it. And 14 times you guys have been on each other's shows since 2001.
STEWART: Is that true? So, you have the internet.
SPENCER: Yes. I have the internet.
STEWART: You have Google.
SPENCER: I googled last night. We did some research. We have a little sampling of your magic together. Let's take a little look.
STEWART: Let's do this. [Clip of Stewart on O'Reilly.] Your respect for me grows in leaps and bounds in a way. You're like the Grinch right after he realized they don't need presents for Christmas when you see me. Your heart grows to dimensions you didn’t even know about. You love it. You love me because you know we come from -- we're the same people. You want this date to go on forever.
SPENCER: So, despite the differences –
STEWART: I didn't realize the sexual tension was so strong.
SPENCER: Yeah.
STEWART: That's the most disturbing part about that.
SPENCER: I dare say there is a --
STEWART: A little bit of something-something going on there.
SPENCER: Could it be a mutual respect?
STEWART: Absolutely. I love talking to the guy. He's smart. He's funny. You know, it always strikes me as bizarre this idea that the people that you disagree with, you should not ever engage with. I have people in my family that make that guy look like Che Guevara. And I love them. It's not anything like that. I think he comes by his views honestly. I disagree with him. I will shut him down. He will weep, most likely like a child. But that's not the important part. The important part is we're going to have fun. A good substantive conversation. Jim Lehrer is going to moderate.
SPENCER: It will be wild. No rules.
