2010 may have been an encouraging year for political conservatives
but it wasn't so rosy for America's culture. The most depressing result
was the Second Circuit Court of Appeals granting our television networks
the right to employ the nastiest curse words in front of children at
any hour of the broadcast day.
In her opinion, Judge Rosemary Pooler insisted that the TV networks
weren't pushing the envelope like "a petulant teenager angling for a
better curfew," they were good people with a "a good faith desire to
comply with the FCC's indecency regime." The judge should win some sort
of Alice-in-Wonderland prize for declaring the absolute opposite of all
the evidence right in front of her face. Here's my other choices for
other cultural winners and losers this year:
Loser: Perhaps inspired by Pooler, CBS put out a sitcom with the title
"[Crap] My Dad Says." Critics were bored. Viewers flushed it.
Winner:
Tim Tebow. The quarterback's heart-warming pro-life ad with his mother
during the Super Bowl was so winning, and so un-political, you could see
why CBS would allow it.
Losers: The radical feminists who protested this ad as a vicious sermon
without seeing it. How embarrassing. Let's add Chicago-based sports
marketer John Rowady, who sneered Tebow was ruining his career in
Advertising Age magazine: "His promotion of his 'belief system' has
built a perception throughout the league that he has a long way to
mature from a business perspective, especially in the fast lane of the
NFL."
Tebow wasn't harmed: he was drafted in the first round by the Denver
Broncos, and at year's end, he was starting and leading the Broncos to
victory.
Winner: Sandra Bullock. Defying the Hollywood odds, she won an Oscar
for her heartfelt portrayal of Leigh Ann Touhy, whose Memphis family
adopted a black teen named Michael Oher and loved him into college and
then a starting job with the NFL's Baltimore Ravens. Critics hated the
film, but America loved it. One reviewer found it "contrived,
storybook-sweet, credulity-straining and - um, true."
Loser: Fox's "Family Guy" is always looking for a new low in sick
jokes. They found one when baby Stewie and his dog Brian were
accidentally locked in a bank vault. The baby orders the dog to eat the
contents of his diaper. When the dog actually eats the baby feces, the
baby vomits, and then says "Got some dessert for you." The dog then eats
the vomit. The dog also licked the baby's rear end clean, so Stewie
could boast to the otherwise empty vault that the dog "French-kissed my
bottom clean."
Earth to Judge Pooler: Networks never "push the envelope"? Millions of children are exposed to this garbage.
Loser: Garry Trudeau, who scheduled a comic strip on Christmas Day that
spewed hate at God. A female soldier said her chaplain "yells at God a
lot." A female social worker replied: "He deserves it. In my extremely
humble opinion."
Winner: Charlie Daniels. His blazing violin graced an ad for Geico and
his new album, "Land That I Love," underlined the strong emphasis on
patriotism in Charlie's music. That's a snapshot of his career, a love
affair with his country that he has expressed in song, both here and
everywhere our military serves, for over a half-century.
Loser:
Louis CK, promoted by Jon Stewart on "The Daily Show as "one of my
favorite comedians." As they were joking about being bleeped by censors,
Louis said "I was going to say that the Pope f--ed boys and I didn't
have time." After sick laughs, he insisted he was serious: "I do think
he does. Can I defend that before we go away?...Well here's the thing.
He lets other people do it," and you are either outraged, or you are
participating in it. Oddly, Stewart later held a "Rally for Sanity" to
condemn vicious insults.
Winner: Family films. Studio heads were shocked again by surprise hits
like the remake of "The Karate Kid," which grossed more than $175
million. None of the top 15 movies received an "R" rating. Six of the
top 15 movies were animated, and at number one in box-office receipts
(with more than $415 million) was G-rated "Toy Story 3." A St.
Petersburg Times critic suggested it wasn't just the best film of the
summer, it could be Best Picture of 2010. Quality doesn't have to equal
perversity.
Children are good at nagging and dragging their parents to the
cineplex. Someone in Tinseltown should just wake up and smell the
popcorn.
