Five Not So Family-Friendly Thanksgiving Themed Episodes

Terrorism, sex, and dysfunctional families, oh my! Throw in some parades and football and you have your Thanksgiving 2014 television line-up. 

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to gather together with friends and family over a fancy dinner with all the fixin’s, a time for laughter, introspection, relaxing and of course giving thanks for all our blessings. Unfortunately the Thanksgiving week line-up isn’t exactly highlighting the lightheartedness or positive values of the holiday but rather brings out the crudeness and dysfunction of friends and family alike. 

Here’s a list of Thanksgiving-themed episodes you might want to use viewer discretion for this week: 

“New Girl”: The sitcom starring Zooey Deschanel on Fox is known for it’s sexual innuendo and hedonistic characters and the Thanksgiving episode is no different. In fact it appears to be emphasized. The episode is titled “Thanksgiving IV” or “Bangs-Giving.” According to the synopsis on TV Guide, Schmidt plans a Thanksgiving dinner where everyone must bring someone to dinner compatible for “someone else” and labels it a “bangs-giving” dinner. The word “swinger” comes to mind. I hope I’m wrong. The episode is tonight, November 25, at 9.

“The Mindy Project”: The sex-filled “New Girl” is immediately followed by the sleaze slathered Mindy Kaling sit-com. On a normal episode of “The Mindy Project” she has used anal sex, roofies and anti-catholic jabs for comic relief, and would use abortion if she could fit it in. So one can only guess what she has planned for her Thanksgiving episode titled “How to Lose a Mom in Ten Days.” The synopsis sounds innocent enough, “Mindy plays matchmaker for Danny's mom by setting her up on a blind date” until things start going too well. Let the dysfunction begin at 9:30PM on Fox.

“NCIS”: Thanksgiving, and the days leading up to it, is one of the biggest travel days of the year. On this weeks episode of “NCIS” titled “Grounded” the NCIS team has to solve “an elevated terrorist threat at Northeast airports during the Thanksgiving travel surge” at Washington Dulles airport amidst a snowstorm that has flights grounded and a team member’s husband stuck at the airport with the terror threat. The episode airs on Tuesday November 25 at 8PM EST.

“The McCarthy’s”: “The McCarthy’s” is a new half hour comedy on CBS revolving around a “close-knit, sports-crazed Boston family” with three children. The one to get the most focus, Ronny McCarthy, is gay and recently came out to his parents who are struggling to deal with it. This Thanksgiving episode is titled “Thanks A lot Ronny!” The family is coming to grips with having a gay son but don’t like their straight son, Gerard’s, girlfriend and conspire to get him to break up with his girlfriend over Thanksgiving dinner. Sexuality bias on CBS? The episode airs Thanksgiving night at 9:30PM on CBS.

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: A tradition in many families on Thanksgiving morning is to cuddle up in bed or in the living room to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade with the whole family. This tradition might be best avoided this year as there is going to be nudity…at least on the sidelines. PETA is protesting the treatment of killer whales at Sea World and is protesting by placing fully nude activists with bodies painted in black and white along the parade route. Liberal news stations CBS and NBC will most likely give attention to the protesters so it won’t just be colorful floats and the festive jolly ol’ Saint Nick the kids will see. The parade airs live on both channels at 9AM. 

Some family friendly alternatives are available however:

 The whole family can enjoy a classic with “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” which will air on Wednesday November 26 at 8PM on ABC.

Also on Wednesday, the Christ-following, fun-loving, Robertson family of the beloved “Duck Dynasty” share their thoughts on and tips for celebrating Thanksgiving with the family in an new episode titled “Good Night and Good Duck” on A&E at 9:30PM. 

On Thanksgiving Day a most treasured American tradition of food and football kicks off the first of its three games at 12:30PM on CBS with the Chicago Bears at the Detroit Lions. Game two has the Dallas Cowboys hosting the Philadelphia Eagles at 4:30PM on Fox. Finally, the defending Superbowl champs the Seattle Seahawks take on their division rivals the San Francisco 49ers at 8:30PM on NBC.

Finally, if football isn’t your scene but cute furry creatures are then Fox’s Cause For Paws: An All-Star Dog Spectacular might be just the ticket for the whole family to gather around the TV and “Aww” over. The synopsis on TV Guide says it will have “Inspiring stories of dog rescues, including viral videos and musical tributes.” Hilary Swank hosts and will have star studded casts including LeAnn Rimes and Miranda Lambert as well as the cute creatures. It will air on Fox at 8PM.

No matter what you watch or not this week, have a safe, fun and laughter filled holiday surrounded by those you love. Happy Thanksgiving!