16 Questions for The New York Times Editorial Board
Published: 3/27/2007 1:00 AM ET
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How would you secure the
a. A fence made of control top pantyhose linked at the feet
b. A Nancy Pelosi stare
c. Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and
d. A gang of moderate Republicans with stiffly starched collars
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How should Congress define “torture”?
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Use of any guard dog that doesn't answer to “Here, Foo Foo”
An interrogator wearing cheap after shave
Being referred to as “Abba-Dabba-Du”
Watching Rosie O'Donnell in any position
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Is it okay for the
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Only if 399 UN resolutions have been violated
No way—it would increase global warming
Not while Democrats are filibustering a judicial nominee
After Al Gore wins an Oscar for his newest documentary, Truth, What Is It Good For?
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Who should be the next Supreme Court justice?
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Woody Allen
Like any dude who doesn't like think the Constitution is like some big deal
Noam Chomsky
O.J. Simpson's favorite judge—Lance Ito
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Would any of the following not violate the Establishment Clause?
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The ACLU Book of Common Prayer
Thinking, “Oh, God!” within the city limits of
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What is the biggest cause of global warming?
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Chuck Schumer's favorite press conferences, Vols. I-mmmccXXvii
Gun ownership
The Barbra Streisand 23rd Farewell Tour
Kerry/Edwards weekly consumption of hairspray
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How would you end the war in
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Air drop the Times Sunday edition on our pesky allies
Smoke dope with bin Laden
Override all satellite TV downlinks with Hillary Clinton singing Negro spirituals
Declare “Hug a Terrorist Day”
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How would you improve test scores of public school students?
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Declare “National Snow Day”
Student essays in 10 words or less: “Vouchers are evil because …”
Direct deposits from the U.S. Treasury to the National Education Association
Increase condom instruction in Head Start programs
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Who is your favorite Founding Father?
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Thomas Jefferson
William Jefferson Clinton
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What should be included in government health care?
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50 lbs. of high-grade medical marijuana
A carton of blank prescription pads signed by Howard Dean
Access to Senate Botox injections
A complete set of Nip/Tuck DVDs
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Would you ban abortion under any of the following circumstances?
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The fetus is a fan of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
The fetus drives a Prius (late third trimester)
The embryo will be used to clone Bill Clinton
The fetus will pledge never to shop at Wal-Mart
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What is the most important part of the
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The ban on SUVs
The wall of separation between gender-diverse people groups of tolerance and a bossy Supreme Being
The living, unwritten stuff
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Who is your favorite president?
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Bill Clinton
Jacques Chirac
Al Gore
Bill Clinton
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What is a weapon of mass destruction?
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The Fox News Channel
Second-hand smoke (not to be confused with weed)
Tax cuts for the rich
A Big Mac with cheese
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What constitutes suspicious activity at an airport?
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A
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Should English be the official language of the
