ABC's Koppel Sees Only "Modestly Enthusiastic Onlookers" -- 04/04/2003 CyberAlert

1. ABC's Koppel Sees Only "Modestly Enthusiastic Onlookers"
CBS and NBC on Thursday night conveyed enthusiastic greetings from Iraqi civilians for U.S. soldiers, but not ABC News. "There were some modestly enthusiastic onlookers," Ted Koppel grudgingly acknowledged. CBS's Jim Axelrod, however, saw "men, women, children, smiling and waving. We heard people say 'welcome.' 'Hello Mr. Bush.'" NBC's Dana Lewis declared: "For the most part American troops have been warmly welcomed by thousands of Iraqis, many curious enough to wait hours just to get a glimpse of them."

2. ABC's Engel/Jennings Civilian Decimation Tag Team
The Engel/Jennings civilian decimation tag team, part two. From Baghdad, on Thursday night ABC's Richard Engel highlighted the plight of one civilian put in danger by coalition bombing, a woman who "told me that when the bombs started dropping this morning, she became terrified and immediately went into labor." Jennings recited a litany of uncorroborated numbers to illustrate the pain the coalition has inflicted. He related how "a missile strike, possibly American, killed civilians as well as soldiers at a village near Baghdad airport" and how "al-Jazeera reported that 18 civilians died during bombing near the northern city of Mosul."

3. U.S. Gas Giveaway "Purchased Patriotism" Just as Bad as Iraq's
MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann offered a ridiculous display of moral equivalence, between a harmless sales ploy and murdering your citizens, as he claimed an American gas station giving away some free gas to those with cars displaying a U.S. flag is "purchased patriotism" just as despicable as the Iraqi regime using civilians as human shields and "forced suicide bombers" because, amongst those "waiting for their five free gallons, were a few who weren't really that gung ho about the war but just stuck a flag in their windshield wiper to get the gasoline gratis." Olbermann mightily scolded: "Purchased patriotism is one of the things we're fighting against."

4. Clift: "More Like a War of Conquest Than a War of Liberation"
In between FNC reports Thursday morning from inside Iraq showing Iraqis cheering the passing convoys of U.S. soldiers moving north, largely unimpeded, Newsweek's Eleanor Clift insisted that "the measure of resistance that we've seen and the kind of fighting bodes ill for the occupation and I know we want to call it a liberation, but I think this looks more like a war of conquest than a war of liberation." Bill Kristol dismissed her assertion as "pathetic."

5. CNN Showcases Lunacy of a "Human Shield"
CNN on Thursday afternoon showcased the lunacy of at least one former "human shield" in Iraq as Tom Cahill told Wolf Blitzer of his time in Baghdad: "I didn't see much evidence of a dictatorship there except a lot of soldiers and an awful lot of pictures of Saddam Hussein." Cahill also maintained that Iraqis will not be better off without Hussein and charged that President Bush has a human rights problem because of prison rape: "Tens of thousands of young Americans are sexually tortured in the American gulag every day."

6. Stephanopoulos Driving Sunday Morning Viewers Away from ABC
George Stephanopoulous seems to be driving viewers away from ABC on Sunday mornings. Between the first quarter of 2002 and the first quarter of this year, while the long-established This Week is well-ahead in the ratings for relative new comer Fox News Sunday, which grew the most percentage-wise, of the four broadcast network Sunday interview programs, only This Week, now in third place behind CBS's Face the Nation, has lost audience size in the past year, Neilsen numbers highlighted by the Drudge Report revealed.

7. Fans Walk Out on Band Which Impales Bush Mask on Mike Stand
Public revulsion at trashing the President in a time of war. "Incensed fans walked out of Pearl Jam's concert Tuesday after lead singer Eddie Vedder impaled a mask of President Bush on a microphone stand, then slammed it to the stage," the Rocky Mountain News reported on Thursday.

8. Dennis Miller Takes on Peter Arnett and Michael Moore
Another round of pro-American patriotism, pro-President Bush and anti-liberal jibes, jests and slams from actor/comedian Dennis Miller on Thursday's Tonight Show with Jay Leno, including a nice zinger at Peter Arnett: "How am I supposed to trust the honesty of a reporter that has that bad of a comb-over on top of his head?...Hey guess what Pete? We know you're bald, okay? The outside of your skull is as empty as the inside."

9. NYPD Blue Star Dennis Franz: "We're Doing the Right Thing"
Dennis Miller may be one of the few Hollywood celebrities backing President Bush's was policy, but he isn't totally alone. On the April 1 edition of the syndicated program Extra Dennis Franz, who plays Detective Andy Sipowicz on NYPD Blue, declared: "I think we're doing the right thing."

10. Letterman's Top 10
Letterman's "Top Ten Cool Things About Being Stationed in Alaska."

ABC's Koppel Sees Only
"Modestly Enthusiastic Onlookers"

CBS and NBC on Thursday night, along with CNN and FNC, conveyed enthusiastic greetings from Iraqi civilians for U.S. soldiers, but not ABC News. "There were some modestly enthusiastic onlookers," Ted Koppel grudgingly acknowledged.

CBS's Jim Axelrod, however, saw "men, women, children, smiling and waving. We heard people say 'welcome.' 'Hello Mr. Bush.'" NBC's Dana Lewis declared: "For the most part American troops have been warmly welcomed by thousands of Iraqis, many curious enough to wait hours just to get a glimpse of them." New York Times reporter Dexter Filkins told NBC viewers that he witnessed "a really warm reception by just about every Iraqi that we passed. People waving and people cheering."

On ABC's World News Tonight, traveling with the Army's 3rd Infantry Division, Ted Koppel maintained: "There were some modestly enthusiastic onlookers, actually the largest number of Iraqis that we have seen since we have been in country. There was one trooper tossing plastic frisbees to some of the kids. That probably got more of a reaction and more enthusiasm than anything else did."

Over on the April 3 CBS Evening News, Jim Axelrod with the Army at airport, recalled over video of happy civilians as his unit moved north earlier in the day: "Look how they were met. These are men, women, children, smiling and waving. We heard people say 'welcome.' 'Hello Mr. Bush.' These are picture now two weeks into the war that quite frankly many had expected to see from the outset."

On the NBC Nightly News, Dana Lewis, with the Army's 101st Airborne in Najaf, witnessed: "For the most part American troops have been warmly welcomed-"
Kids: "Thank you. Thank you."
Lewis: "-by thousands of Iraqis, many curious enough to wait hours just to get a glimpse of them."

Viewers saw a crowd of people giving a thumbs up.

Later, anchor Tom Brokaw offered an audio report from New York Times reporter Dexter Filkins with the Marines:
"In most towns, in most places, people are pretty restrained with their emotions and not really trusting that the United States would be able to take down Saddam Hussein. As we get closer to the capital city it's becoming clear to these people that it actually may happen and what I saw today, what I witnessed today was a really warm reception by just about every Iraqi that we passed. People waving and people cheering..."
"A husband and wife pulled over in a pick up truck and she said 'you've saved us from him, you've saved us from him. We love, we love you, we love you.' And the Marines saw that and I'd say they were buoyed by the whole thing."

ABC's Engel/Jennings Civilian Decimation
Tag Team

The Engel/Jennings civilian decimation tag team, part two. From Baghdad, on Thursday night ABC's freelancer, Richard Engel highlighted the plight of one civilian put in danger by coalition bombing, a woman who, Engel relayed, "told me that when the bombs started dropping this morning, she became terrified and immediately went into labor" and so had a Caesarian section.

Moments later, Jennings recited a litany of uncorroborated numbers to illustrate the pain the coalition has inflicted. He related how "a missile strike, possibly American, killed civilians as well as soldiers at a village near Baghdad airport," how "al-Jazeera reported that 18 civilians died during bombing near the northern city of Mosul" and how "the International Committee of the Red Cross reports today that their doctors in southern Iraq have seen, their words, 'incredible levels of civilian casualties.'"

The night before, as recounted in the April 3 CyberAlert, Richard "Peter Arnett" Engel relayed on World News Tonight how "6,000 Arab and Muslim volunteer suicide bombers" have arrived in Baghdad. Arnett had a "baby milk factory," Engel has a "maternity hospital." He asserted: "Iraqis are growing increasingly enraged by the mounting damage to civilian sites -- including this maternity hospital." Engel went to the streets to gather public opinion: "I asked this man if he thinks the war is about liberating him from Saddam's brutal regime. 'Liberation?' he asked me. 'Who asked for America to liberate us?'" Peter Jennings suggested that the Iraqi claim of "almost 700 civilians killed in the country since the U.S. invaded" last month "may be low." See the April 3 CyberAlert.

For the April 3 World News Tonight, Engel reported how the power was out in Baghdad and the outage cut off a TV interview being conducted by the Minister of Information. Engel continued, as taken down by MRC analyst Brad Wilmouth:
"The minister said coalition troops were nowhere near the Baghdad airport, but tonight there are reports of intense fighting and dozens of Iraqis killed in the airport area. There was no panic when the blackout started, but it surely must add to the tremendous stress people here are already feeling. This woman had a Caesarian section today just before the blackout. Her baby was a month premature. She told me that when the bombs started dropping this morning, she became terrified and immediately went into labor. The doctor said if she didn't have a C-section, she'd lose her daughter."
Unidentified doctor: "There is an increase in the incidence of premature labors, high increase in the incidence. And there is increase in the incidence of stillbirth in our hospital."

Jennings followed up: "It is very hard to keep up with the effect of the fighting on Iraqi civilians. The Reuters News Agency says that a missile strike, possibly American, killed civilians as well as soldiers at a village near Baghdad airport. The television network al-Jazeera reported that 18 civilians died during bombing near the northern city of Mosul. And the International Committee of the Red Cross reports today that their doctors in southern Iraq have seen, their words, 'incredible levels of civilian casualties.'"

U.S. Gas Giveaway "Purchased Patriotism"
Just as Bad as Iraq's

To MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann, an American gas station employing the publicity gimmick of giving away some free gas to those with cars displaying a U.S. flag is "purchased patriotism" just as despicable as the Iraqi regime using civilians as human shields and "forced suicide bombers" because, amongst those "waiting for their five free gallons, were a few who weren't really that gung ho about the war but just stuck a flag in their windshield wiper to get the gasoline gratis." Olbermann mightily lambasted: "Purchased patriotism is one of the things we're fighting against."

In his end of the hour commentary Thursday night, Olbermann also elevated a malicious charge of anti-American leftists: "Some anti-war protesters are claiming an unfortunate link between this conflict and big oil, meantime somebody else is giving away gas to anybody who will paint their mud flaps red, white and blue, and how bad does that look?"

Not as bad as Olbermann's reasoning.

The MRC's Tim Graham alerted me to Olbermann's ridiculous display of moral equivalence, between a harmless sales ploy and murdering your citizens, which Olbermann conveyed in a commentary at the end of the 8pm EST hour he anchors, "Countdown: Operation Iraqi Freedom." He repeated it live just before 1am EST at the end of the midnight hour which he also now anchors as of this week.

Olbermann intoned on April 3, as taken down by MRC analyst Brad Wilmouth:
"And we leave you tonight with one final Countdown item. There is supporting the troops, and there is waving the flag, and then for about an hour-and-a-half earlier this week, there was free gasoline in exchange for patriotism. The fine folks of Sunoco A Plus in Lake Ronkonkoma, New York, decided to give $10 of free gas to quote unquote, 'patriotic vehicles.' Now, obviously this is silly. It's silly in that sweet way just like when the body shop in Southern California in the late 1970s posted a sign reading, 'Lube Jobs for POWs.'
"But beyond that, there are two unfortunate aspects here. One, insightfully or naively, some anti-war protesters are claiming an unfortunate link between this conflict and big oil, meantime somebody else is giving away gas to anybody who will paint their mud flaps red, white and blue, and how bad does that look?
"And secondly, and more seriously, I don't think I'm going way out on a limb here to assume that somewhere in that block's long line of drivers near Lake Ronkonkoma waiting for their five free gallons, were a few who weren't really that gung ho about the war but just stuck a flag in their windshield wiper to get the gasoline gratis. Unintentional or not, that's purchased patriotism. And as we are reminded every time we hear about Iraqi human shields and forced suicide bombers, purchased patriotism is one of the things we're fighting against."

Clift: "More Like a War of Conquest Than a
War of Liberation"

In between FNC reports Thursday morning from inside Iraq showing Iraqis cheering the passing convoys of U.S. soldiers moving north, largely unimpeded, Newsweek's Eleanor Clift insisted that "the measure of resistance that we've seen and the kind of fighting bodes ill for the occupation and I know we want to call it a liberation, but I think this looks more like a war of conquest than a war of liberation."

Bill Kristol dismissed her assertion as "pathetic," noting that "the Iraqi people are clearly happy to be liberated."

National Review Online's Kathryn Jean Lopez, in NRO's "The Corner," caught the outlandish outburst from Clift, the MRC's Tim Graham brought it to my attention and MRC analyst Patrick Gregory transcribed what Clift argued during a segment at about 11:30am EST on Thursday when she appeared with Weekly Standard Publisher Bill Kristol during the hour anchored by David Asman.

Clift argued: "I think there was an expectation this would be a lightning fast war and this is a political war, and if we win, which we will inevitably win because we're the most powerful military in the world, but at what cost. And this is a political contest for the hearts and minds of the Iraqis and the Arabs in the Middle East. And the danger is that we can win the military victory and lose the peace. And I think the measure of resistance that we've seen and the kind of fighting bodes ill for the occupation-"
Asman: "Final word from Bill-"
Clift: "-and I know we want to call it a liberation, but I think this looks more like a war of conquest-"
Asman: "Bill, go ahead."
Clift: "-than a war of liberation."
Kristol: "I just, I think this is pathetic, frankly. The Iraqi people are clearly happy to be liberated, they've been intimidated and terrorized by these horrible thugs; we're winning this war amazingly quickly, and the notion that in any respect this has been a disappointing performance or that we should be horridly concerned about what the Iraqi people or the rest of the Arab world think just strikes me as crazy."

CNN Showcases Lunacy of a "Human Shield"

CNN on Thursday afternoon showcased the lunacy of at least one former "human shield" in Iraq as Tom Cahill told Wolf Blitzer of his time in Baghdad: "I didn't see much evidence of a dictatorship there except a lot of soldiers and an awful lot of pictures of Saddam Hussein." Cahill also maintained that Iraqis will not be better off without Saddam Hussein and charged that President Bush has a human rights problem because of prison rape: "Tens of thousands of young Americans are sexually tortured in the American gulag every day."

MRC analyst Ken Shepherd took down the most humorous portion of the April 3 interview, the third item of the day first noticed by the MRC's Tim Graham.

At about 1:35pm EST on Thursday, CNN viewers were treated to this illuminating exchange between Blitzer in Kuwait City and U.S. citizen Cahill, who was a human shield for five weeks at a Baghdad water treatment plant which the coalition never bombed, in Amman, Jordan:
Blitzer: "Did you emerge from Iraq with the same kind of feeling as you went into Iraq? In other words, I assume you had a strong sympathy for the Iraqi people. Did you emerge with the exact kind of feelings?"
Cahill, an older man with a beard, responded: "Yes, and even more anger at the United States government. I've been an activist all my adult life. I'm 66. I've been an activist more than 40 years. And the rage in me has been growing all these years. And the anger is another one of the reasons I went to Iraq."
Blitzer: "But you saw first hand what life was like under a regime, like Saddam Hussein, a regime that's been documented by Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, international human rights organizations, as a cruel regime, one that endorses torture and other human rights abuses. Did you emerge at all any sympathetic to Saddam Hussein?"
Cahill: "No! No! I know little about Saddam Hussein, only what I hear from Amnesty International, but the people of Iraq, the people I saw, seemed okay. I mean, I didn't see much evidence of a dictatorship there except a lot of soldiers and an awful lot of pictures of Saddam Hussein. I think he spends most of his waking hours posing for sculptors and artists and photographers. And as far as human rights are concerned, President Bush has a problem in the United States. I'm president of 'Stop Prisoner Rape' [meanwhile gesturing to a button on his shirt] Look this up on the Internet. Tens of thousands of young Americans are sexually tortured in the American gulag every day."
Blitzer: "One final question, Mr. Cahill, would you agree that the Iraqi people will be better off without Saddam Hussein and his regime in power?"
Cahill: "No, I don't, agree!"
Blitzer: "Alright, on that note, we'll leave it right there."

Let's leave this guy in Amman.

Stephanopoulos Driving Sunday Morning
Viewers Away from ABC

George Stephanopoulous seems to be driving viewers away from ABC on Sunday mornings. Between the first quarter of 2002 and the first quarter of this year, while the long-established This Week is well-ahead in the ratings for relative new comer Fox News Sunday, which grew the most percentage-wise, of the four broadcast network Sunday interview programs, only This Week, now in third place behind CBS's Face the Nation, has lost audience size in the past year, Neilsen numbers highlighted by the Drudge Report revealed.

This Week was co-hosted by Sam Donaldson and Cokie Roberts until Stephanopoulos became the sole host in September.

An excerpt from Drudge's April 3 story:

According to Nielsen Media Research data, "Meet the Press with Tim Russert," had its best quarter ever (since at least the start of people meters in 1987), among total and younger viewers (adults 25-54). For the first quarter 2003, "Meet the Press" averaged 5.211 million total viewers, 61% more than second place CBS "Face the Nation's" 3.240, a 76% advantage over third place "This Week with George Stephanopoulos'" 2.961 million, and 178% more viewers than FOX "News Sunday's" 1.875 million....

Compared to the first quarter last year (2002), "Meet the Press'" total viewer audience grew by 10% this year, CBS increased 4% and fourth place FOX grew by 26%. ABC was the only Sunday morning public affairs program to loose viewers, declining by 9% since a year ago when the program was "This Week with Sam Donaldson and Cokie Roberts."

In homes, "Meet the Press" posted a 4.0 rating and a 12 share for the first quarter. CBS had a 2.5/7, ABC had a 2.2/6 and FOX had a 1.4/4. The Russert-moderated program has also now placed first in homes for 22 consecutive quarters. Compared to a year ago in homes, "Meet the Press" increased 11%, CBS was up 9%, FOX increased by 17% but ABC declined 15%.

Among the key demographics women, men and adults, "Meet the Press" outperformed the competition in all categories....

END of Excerpt

Read the Drudge item online in full.

Fans Walk Out on Band Which Impales
Bush Mask on Mike Stand

Public revulsion at trashing the President in a time of war. "Incensed fans walked out of Pearl Jam's concert Tuesday after lead singer Eddie Vedder impaled a mask of President Bush on a microphone stand, then slammed it to the stage," the Rocky Mountain News reported on April 3 in a story to which several people alerted me.

An excerpt from the story by reporter Mark Brown of the Denver newspaper:

...Most of Vedder's antiwar remarks earlier in the Pepsi Center show were greeted with mixed cheers and scattered boos. But dozens of angry fans walked out during the encore because of the macabre display with the Bush mask, which he wore for the song Bushleaguer, a Bush-taunting song from the band's latest album, Riot Act.

"When he was sharing his political views in a fairly benign manner -- supporting our troops, opposing policy -- that's OK," said Keith Zimmerman, of Denver.

"When he takes what looks like the head of George Bush on a stick, then throws it to the stage and stomps on it, that's just unacceptable. I love Pearl Jam, but that was just way over the edge. We literally got up and left."

Others joined Zimmerman, some complaining about the lyrics of Bushleaguer, which in part call Bush "a confidence man" and say, "He's not a leader/he's a Texas leaguer."

"I wasn't sure if it was really happening," said Kim Mueller. "We looked at each other and realized he really did have George Bush's head on a stick and was waving it in the air, then slammed it to the ground and stepped on it."

"It was like he decapitated someone in a primal ritual and stuck their head on a stick," Zimmerman said....

Vedder has used the Bush mask in previous shows in Australia and Japan, but Denver's U.S. tour opener was the first show since war broke out in Iraq....

END of Excerpt

Read the story in its entirety posted online at www.rockymountainnews.com.

Dennis Miller Takes on Peter Arnett and
Michael Moore

Another round of pro-American patriotism, pro-President Bush and anti-liberal jibes, jests, zingers and slams from actor/comedian Dennis Miller on Thursday's Tonight Show with Jay Leno, including a nice shot at Peter Arnett: "How am I supposed to trust the honesty of a reporter that has that bad of a comb-over on top of his head?...Hey guess what Pete? We know you're bald, okay? The outside of your skull is as empty as the inside."

From the April 3 Tonight Show on NBC, most of Miller's cutting observations about the present situation:

-- Pride in conduct of the war:
"I cannot tell you how proud watching that war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life."

-- Denouncing anti-war protesters, Miller described how he puts them into four categories, the second one made up of those who call everyone but Hussein a Hitler:
"The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler."

-- On the up side of war protesters:
"I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass."

-- On the Dixie Chicks:
"Surprisingly, making fun of the President on foreign land in a time of war doesn't seem to play with the NASCAR crowd!"

-- On Peter Arnett:
"How am I supposed to trust the honesty of a reporter that has that bad of a comb-over on top of his head? He's got four hairs left and he's swirling them around...This guy is dangerously close to pulling hair over from another guy's head. Hey guess what Pete? We know you're bald, okay? The outside of your skull is as empty as the inside."

-- On Michael Moore:
"He's going to wake up every day for the rest of his life, and he's going to tell us how he hates everything about this country except his right to hate it. And then we say that we love it and he's going to tell us what naive sheep we are and that he's the true patriot because he hates it and he sees all the problems in it. Yeah, right, Mike. You know something, if my yawn got any bigger they'd have to assign it a hurricane name, okay?
"Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong."

-- On justification for the war:
"It is stupid for anybody in the world to say they're for war. But I am for this war because, you know, we've got to protect ourselves now. And we've got to remind the world that there is a point that we will not be pushed past before the [bleep]hammer comes down. Now, the simple fact is, do I think Saddam Hussein can bury the nuclear jumper from the top of the key? No, I don't. He's a putz. But I do think he can distribute the ball going down the lane and I think we've got to smack him around. It's time to circle the SUVs!
"The simple fact is, you've got to view this war like we've been on a long family car ride. Bush is the father and he's been screaming [gestures with arm as if a driver scolding kids in back seat] 'don't make me come back there!' for around 200 miles now and it just reached the point where we had to pull the car over and the bad kid is going to get the spanking of his life."

-- On those whining about the length of the war:
"And now we've got people whining about how long the war is taking. For God's sakes it's been two weeks. You know, it took Joe Millionaire eight weeks to pick Zora (sp?)."

-- On global warming:
"There's a lot of differing data, but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference."

-- Advise to soldiers in Iraq:
"I would encourage the boys though not to rip down all those big wall portraits of Hussein because you got to remember, pretty soon we're going to need a headstone for my main man's grave and you might want to save one for him."

-- Praising the troops:
"God knows that we've got things we've got to perfect in this country. But there's enough people downplaying it right now. I want to go so far against that. I want to thank the President. I want to thank the troops and say God bless you for doing the tough job which allows us to sit here and do the easy jobs, like be on the Tonight Show."

For Miller's previous Tonight Show appearance see the February 26, 2003 CyberAlert.

For Miller taking on Phil Donahue on February 3 read the February 4, 2003 CyberAlert.

For links to earlier Miller appearances on the Tonight Show and a picture of him see the January 30, 2003 CyberAlert.

NYPD Blue Star Dennis Franz:
"We're Doing the Right Thing"

Dennis Miller may be one of the few Hollywood celebrities backing President Bush's was policy, but he isn't totally alone. On the April 1 edition of the syndicated program Extra Dennis Franz, who plays "Detective Andy Sipowicz" on NYPD Blue, declared: "I think we're doing the right thing."

Franz, who fought in Vietnam for nearly a year, urged Americans to get behind the troops: "They are defending our country. Thank God that we have people in this world that are willing to do it."

For a picture of Franz, check his Internet Movie Database bio.

Letterman's Top 10

From the April 3 Late Show with David Letterman, as announced by ten members of the Nine-Sixty-Second Airborne Air Control Squadron at Elmendorf Air Force Base in Alaska, the "Top Ten Cool Things About Being Stationed in Alaska." Late Show Web site.

10. "Thanks to soft, snowy ground, no push-ups!"
(Airman First Class Nick Schulte)

9. "Don't have to worry about sunscreen like those suckers stationed in Hawaii"
(Senior Airman Amanda Baldwin)

8. "Our state-of-the-art surveillance equipment makes salmon fishing a snap"
(Staff Sergeant Richard Canady)

7. "When the days get really short, we only put in a 45-minute work week"
(Staff Sergeant Candra Maita)

6. "One of the senior airmen is a moose"
(Master Sergeant Kevin Barry)

5. "Can't taste mess hall food when your tongue is frozen solid"
(Senior Master Sergeant Eric Stenerson)

4. "On weekends, can take advantage of Nome's crazy nightlife"
(Canadian Air Force Warrant Officer Vimy Trevors)

3. "The government provides mittens"
(First Lieutenant Carrie Howard)

2. "If you want baked Alaska, just order 'baked here'"
(Captain Derek Sellnow)

1. "Daily schedule: one hour doing Air Force stuff; nine hours snowboarding"
(Lieutenant Colonel Mark Nakanishi)

-- CyberAlert edited by Brent Baker