CyberAlert -- 07/02/1996 -- Top Ten & Dan on Castro's Health

Top Ten & Dan on Castro's Health

Two bits of humor today:

1) David Letterman's Top Ten list from Friday night: "Top Ten Revelations In The New Tell-All Book About The White House."

2) Dan Rather asks Fidel Castro the question on everyone's mind -- about a certain organ.

> 1) Downloaded from CompuServe's E-Drive, here's the June 28 Late Show with David Letterman Top Ten List, copyrighted I should note by Wide World Pants Inc.

Top Ten Revelations In The New Tell-All Book About The White House:

10. Hillary recently signed up for MCI's "Dead Friends and Family" plan

9. Sometimes Bill skips the fries and just starts chugging the Wesson Oil

8. Mattress in Lincoln bedroom is stuffed with shredded Whitewater documents

7. In secret seances, Roger Clinton seeks advice from the spirit of Billy Carter

6. If re-elected, Bill plans to open a "Hooters" in the west wing

5. Al Gore had to talk Bill out of awarding Medal of Freedom to creator of the Arch Deluxe

4. Days before "Playboy" hits the stands, FBI informs President of Playmate-Of-The-Month turn-ons

3. Clintons once paid a cable guy $50 to "juice them up"

2. With help of psychic advisor, Bill slept with ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt

1. Bill's original choice for drug czar: Robert Downey, Jr.

> 2) CBS Reports: The Last Revolutionary, a documentary on Fidel Castro narrated by Dan Rather, will air July 18. In Monday's (July 1) New York Post Michele Greppi reported that Rather and two producers "gave a sneak peek at Victor's Cuban Cafe last week." So, during the two days Rather spent with Castro in April what kind of questions did the CBS anchor pose?

Greppi reported: "Rather said that for 'men of a certain age'a common topic is prostate cancer. 'I grant you, this may not have been a proper question,' Rather told reporters. Nevertheless, the newsman asked the dictator, whose 37 years in power ranks second only to Jordan's King Hussein: 'Prostate OK?'

'OK,' replied Castro, who turns 70 in August."

30 years of oppressing and killing his people and Dan Rather's first concern is whether his health is OK. Just when you thought Rather couldn't get any wackier. -- Brent Baker