Make way for Grey: 50 Shades from the Perv’s Perspective

‘As anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows, there are two sides to every story.’

So you thought 50 Shades of Grey was bad? Well, now fans get to enter the tortuous mind of Christian Grey, when author EL James releases her new novel from his perspective. Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian, is set to be released on June 18—the eponymous protagonist’s birthday. 

Written in response to high demand from drooling fans, Grey, in the words of James, “is dedicated to those readers who asked …and asked … and asked … and asked for this.” 

Receiving over 47,000 Instagram likes thus far, James’ June 1 announcement has been met with great excitement from drooling fans of “mommy porn.” Remember the obsessive media coverage of 50 Shades? Expect more of that sickening hype. 

“Are you as excited as we are?” People’s Tara Fowler exuded in an article published yesterday morning. Um, now that you ask … no, not at all. But you really can’t blame James for writing more. When people lap up trash with such enthusiasm, why should she end her lucrative erotic novel writing career? 

In case you missed the 50 Shades craze last winter (be thankful—you’re lucky), the books and recent film center on the BDSM “romance” between powerful businessman Christian Grey and ingénue Anastasia Steele. Although the books are highly explicit, and promote a violent relationship, the publisher declares them to be about “a love story that has enthralled readers.” ‘Love,’ indeed. 

At least James’ announcement has not been greeted with excitement from all the usual suspects. Stephanie Marcus of liberal Huffington Post warned: “Re-telling the story from Grey's perspective is sure to bring out many critics—it will be a very different tale coming from the point of view of a character who ‘likes to whip little brown-haired girls’ and is rather difficult to distinguish from a serial killer.” She’s got that right. 

But wait … maybe we just don’t get Christian Grey. On her website, author EL James declares: “As anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows, there are two sides to every story.” OK, so maybe when we understand Christian’s perspective, his warped fetish for BDSM will become completely understandable. Not.