Spooky to Kooky: A Quake-Inducing Quiz on Frightening Feminist Media Trends

Can YOU guess right?

The feminist media claim they’re all for what’s best for women – and their choices. But are they? Take the quiz below to discover their scariest tactics. 

1. Magical Incantations: This year, feminist media described abortion as:

A) Safe, legal and rare

B) Good, moral and right

C) A woman’s choice

When Katha Pollitt, a feminist and columnist for The Nation, published “Pro: Reclaiming Abortion Rights” this month, feminist media used it as a launching pad for no-fault abortion. The New York Times, The Huffington Post, The Guardian, Salon, Slate and many others made the case that abortion is not only “good” and “moral,” but also it’s what’s “best for kids” and about a woman’s “unalienable right” to pursue happiness. 

Answer: B 

2. Undead and Entitled: Feminist media campaigned for women’s rights in 2014, with a focus on:

A) Christian women tortured in the Middle East

B) Human trafficking

C) Free Tampons 

While young girls and women are being trafficked in the United States and tortured (“repeatedly raped”) abroad in the thousands, feminist media obsessed over – you didn’t guess it – free tampons. Outspoken feminist Jessica Valenti wrote in her column for The Guardian “The case for free tampons.” The media, from Cosmo to TIME, only hyped her “compelling argument” and “great idea.”

“The high cost of a product that half the population needs multiple times a day, every month for approximately 30 years,” Valenti whined in her piece, “is simply, well, bullshit.” 

Answer: C 

3. Like “Voldemort,” but sillier: Feminists banned words this year that oppress women, including:

A) F*ck

B) Bossy

C) B*tch 

When the celebrity-endorsed “Ban Bossy” campaign began, the media also wept over the use of “bossy” in relation to girls – but turned a blind eye to entertainment shows using “bitch” 50 times in one week. The hypocrisy surfaced further with Beyoncé. While the singer championed “Ban Bossy,” she sang “bitch” nine times in her new album

Oh, and when it comes to the perfect wording, the feminist media loved when little girls dressed as princesses repeatedly screamed f*ck to “empower” feminism

Answer: B 

4. Eternal Pain: In the name of sexual diversity, the media decided to support: 

A) BDSM practitioners

B) Mothers

C) Virgins 

The media aren’t the biggest fans of mothers (in media-speak, true love means no kids) and hype virgins – as a weird alien species. But they do love their BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism). 

When the trailer was released, NBC celebrated their sister company’s kinky “Fifty Shades of Grey” 13 times – for a total of 19 minutes and 12 seconds.\

But “Fifty Shades of Grey” didn’t satisfy all appetites, with The Guardian’s Margaret Corvid writing that “Fifty Shades of Grey’ ignored the “joy of BDSM” that “nourishes the soul.” There were also voices like Slate’s Jillian Keenan, who went so far as to ask, “is kink a sexual orientation?

Answer: A

5. Sinister Mind-Control: Because women can make their own decisions, feminists are prepping for the midterm election by: 

A) Telling women to pick the best representative for their needs

B) Telling women the person(s) who to vote for

C) Telling women to vote along party lines 

Cosmopolitan – an outlet that posts stories on the “2014 Sex Olympics," the “Holiday Sextacular” "Twelve Days of Sex Moves," sexual positions for lesbians and “The 16 Best Chairs to Have Sex On” – recently decided to dip its fingers into politics. 

The criteria to become a candidate, reported Politico, “fall squarely into the liberal camp — equal pay, pro-choice, pro-birth control coverage, anti-restrictive voter-ID laws” with abortion as a “deal breaker.” 

Perhaps their most famous candidate endorsed so far is Texas gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis. And the woman’s magazine isn’t the only one – the broadcast networks only ever share love for the woman in pink tennis shoes

Answer: B

— Katie Yoder is Staff Writer, Joe and Betty Anderlik Fellow in Culture and Media at the Media Research Center. Follow Katie Yoder on Twitter.