The Best of Notable Quotables; December 21, 1992

Award for the Silliest Analysis

“NATURE HAS A CURE FOR EVERYTHING, EXCEPT THE SPREAD OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION. Until recently, cultural genocide has been a quietly accepted practice. But times change and so does TIME.”

– Time advertisement in the April 27 Sports Illustrated promoting their “Lost Tribes, Lost Knowledge” issue.

Runners-up:

“The [House] bank had no written standards; hopeless accounting procedures made it impossible to determine when overdrafts occurred except by painstaking check-by-check reconstruction of individual accounts....None of this was anyone’s fault.”

– Washington Post reporter Guy Gugliotta, April 17.

“After watching the first week of his new syndicated series, one must logically conclude that Limbaugh is the lead component of an insidious left-wing conspiracy to make conservatives look like clowns....Rushie tried to disguise his true liberal feelings by constantly referring to Bill Clinton as ‘Slick Willie.’ Funny, wouldn’t you say, that Mr. Conservative neglected to mention that ‘Willie’ was also the nickname of William Shakespeare, whose plays were performed in the Globe Theatre by men who played the female roles. Thus, it’s obvious that despite being a right-winger, Limbaugh endorses TRANSVESTITES!”

– Los Angeles Times TV critic Howard Rosenberg, September 21.

“There is an understandable reluctance on the part of many women to venture into a building already occupied by Jesse Helms or Bob Dornan, a building that was designed, for all we know, without a single ladies’ room in the floor plan. Plus there has been the chilling effect of male politicos like former Republican Party chairman Clayton Yeutter, who reportedly addressed a high-powered donor as ‘little lady’ and inquired as to whom she ‘belonged to’ – thus sending a generation of Republican women out to join militantly separatist rural communes.”

– Time essayist Barbara Ehrenreich, June 22.

“Texas...another of the so-called big enchiladas, or if not an enchilada, at least a huge taco.”

– Dan Rather during CBS News election night coverage.

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